“Be there in 40”
After getting off the phone, I quickly assemble any necessities, say goodbye to my family with a “wish me luck!”, and quickly meander over to the car. I try to play my usual upbeat music, but find that I am too anxious; instead, I opt to call my little sister in an effort to distract myself. I’m feeling all the feelings at this point; fear, anxiety, doubt, excitement, joy, urgency, a hint of gusto…the many emotions and musings of a new midwife attending her first birth solo. If I’m being honest, these emotions are present at every birth I attend—for me, it’s a reminder to be humble and to honor the unknown, to enter the situation confident yet composed, and to find the joy in this special event I have the privilege of attending.
By this point, I’ve texted and called all of my people, who are cheering me on from the sidelines and offering me words of reassurance and encouragement. I understand myself well enough to know that once I was in my client’s home with my supplies unpacked and organized, and assured that the baby wasn’t crowning the moment I walked through the door (yes, it happens!), I could breathe a sigh of relief, re-center myself, and be fully present.
A first child. A first home birth. A first birth as a licensed, solo midwife. A first for all of us.
When I arrived, I did all of the usual things, and then we decided to do a vaginal exam to assess progress. 4cm. A bit early for me to be there, but hopefully we’d be moving along soon. Because the cervix was posterior (this means it was tucked a bit to the side behind the baby’s head, rather than straight and to the front where it would ideally be), I recommend some Spinning Babies exercises, and so we spent the next little while doing some rebozo sifting and forward-leaning inversions to help encourage baby into a better position.
She was working hard and trying to convince herself that the contractions weren’t painful, which appeared to help. A bit later, she got into the tub. Contractions spaced out a bit but were still coming on pretty strong. We tried the shower coupled with leg lifts, deep squats during contractions, leaning forward on the birth ball, standing and swaying the hips supported by her partner, back to the tub again, side-lying…it’s times like these that make me revisit the awful thought of having to labor and birth your baby lying on your back the entire time (*shudder*).
At this point, it’s about 2 am and we’re at 8cm with a bulging bag of waters. I’m offering herbs and general support, listening to the baby every thirty minutes as usual, and holding space. We attempt to break her waters (per her request), but the sensation is just too intense. I try to encourage rest and sleep whenever she can manage it.
Later that morning, as the morning broke and we all got a little dose of energy, I consulted with a midwife friend for suggestions to help with the baby’s position. I made the mistake of not sleeping at all throughout the night and needed someone’s well-rested brain to help me out a bit. She suggested walking sidewalks, which my client reported having made a big difference (she felt something change just a few minutes in).
While she was out walking with her partner, I tidied and spruced up the birth space a bit to help give it some new energy. When she came back, we decided to do another exam and break her waters. This time, we were successful, and things shifted pretty quickly after that (as expected). At this point, I’ve called my assists, hoping we will have a baby soon.
Around noon, we are fully dilated and pushing! My client is supported by her partner, and at one point after a bystander’s comment about her appearing annoyed while looking up at her partner, she responds: “I’m just looking at him like I hella love him.” The room erupts in “aww”s. Dad wanted to participate in catching the baby, so I had him place his hands close to mine once the baby’s head started to emerge.
The head was born, I checked for the umbilical cord around the neck, and then helped with the baby’s shoulders, and together, we placed him on his mom’s chest. He cried pretty much immediately and was welcomed into the world that sunny afternoon on the first day of Fall. His parents admired him, while I quietly observed and assessed his heart and lungs as needed. At one point, dad commented “I didn’t know his head was gonna look like THAT!” and the room rang out with soft laughter.
While it was a long and hard birth for everyone involved, it was beautiful— this first-time mother got to receive her sweet little boy in the comfort of her home, surrounded by the people she loved and the midwives who wholeheartedly believed in her power.
Testimonials
My Happy Clients!
“She showed so much kindness and sincerity in her words and actions–I don’t know how we deserved to have such a wonderful soul with us that day, but I am so thankful we did.”
– e. b.
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Charlee made me feel so Comfortable and Relaxed during my homebirth…. it was the best Experience… I have ever had being that I have Have alot of children and It was my first Homebirth it was awesome… my children, husband, and I absolutely loved it… Charlee is such a loving person she’s kind loving and compassionate fun to have as a midwife… we laughed and had such an awesome time… she’s very fun and my kids and husband absolutely loved her
she made my labor go so smoothly… Thanks Charlee your the best..
You are so amazing! Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m honored you and your family chose me <3